A Balanced Approach to Encouraging Varied Diets in Children

You’ve spent an hour in the kitchen, crafting a masterpiece for your toddler. It’s a perfectly balanced plate with protein, carbs, healthy fats, and a rainbow of vitamins and minerals. You serve it with pride, and what do you get? A "blegh," a dramatic grimace, and outright rejection. Then come the cries for something beige... Sounds familiar? Welcome to the adventures of parenting!

One thing is clear. If our children eat healthily, the chances of them living healthily will also increase. It seems simple enough. But, in reality, behaviour is much more complex. Eating isn’t purely a physical act; it’s influenced by a host of factors, and getting children to eat “healthy” foods can be challenging. Kids are naturally drawn to what feels good, and certain foods provide that quick pleasure—a rapid dopamine boost.

The Complexity of Eating Behaviours

As parents, we might wish our children could simply avoid unhealthy foods such as high-fat, high-sugar, and ultra-processed foods altogether. But, as a psychologist, behavioural scientist, and parent, I’m convinced that avoiding these foods isn’t realistic. They’re everywhere—at school, at friends’, in every supermarket aisle... The food industry aggressively markets these options, making them available and as tempting as possible for young minds. But that does not mean children can’t have a generally nutritious diet.

Psychology offers various evidence-based solutions on how we can increase the changes of our kids having a varied diet. Let me pinpoint a few evidence-based strategies parents and care givers can employ whilst feeding their children.

Unfamiliar can be scary

Imagine you’re in a country you’ve never been before. You are invited to try a dish you are not familiar with. It’s made with ingredients and spices you’ve never tasted. Many adults might feel hesitant or even resistant to try it. The unfamiliar smells, textures, or flavours can make us uncomfortable, and without previous exposure, we often default to the foods we already know and trust. Let's be honest, we've all sought out familiar brands while travelling abroad when it comes to eating or snacking.

However, over time, with gradual exposure, many people grow accustomed to and even begin to enjoy novel things. This includes trying new foods. A few positive experiences can change our perception and build confidence. The same principle applies to children. Regular exposure to a variety of foods can help them become more open to trying new things, reducing the initial resistance that’s often a natural response to the unfamiliar.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

How to Expose Our Children to New Foods

Starting Early: Age-Appropriate Food Exposure

Food exposure should begin as early as possible in a child’s life. There are many ways to introduce variety, and the key is to make it age and child-appropriate and engaging. This may look like a one-year-old helping to wash vegetables, a four-year-old stirring the pot, or a six-year-old cutting veggies and making a simple dish. Even if they don’t eat these foods immediately, this kind of hands-on exposure helps them become familiar, which increases the likelihood that they will try them in the future. Yes, it can be messy to cook with children, and yes, it can be stressful to take them to the supermarket—but this is learning through play. This active involvement can demystify unfamiliar foods, making them less intimidating.

Consistency is Key: The Power of Regular Offering

Remember, consistently offering a food your child refuses is still a form of exposure. Don’t be discouraged by their refusal. Keep serving it while giving them the choice not to eat it. It took my child many months, perhaps over a year, to finally reach for the salad bowl and try some greens. But the key was that the salad was always there, regularly on the table. If the salad bowl hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have had the chance to try it, right?

Think about how you can expose your child to various foods. Choose a strategy that is fit for your family and a strategy that you can consistently follow.

Is restricting unhealthy foods good?

Yes and no.

Restricting certain foods may seem like a straightforward approach to healthy eating, but it often has unintended consequences. Restriction can often backfire, creating an even stronger desire for the “forbidden” foods. When children are overtly restricted from eating foods high in fat, sugar, or calories, they are more likely to develop an intense desire for those very foods. In fact, research shows that children who face strong restrictions are more likely to become overweight later in life.

Why does restriction backfire?

This can be understood through the "scarcity principle." Just like marketers create a sense of urgency with “limited time offers” to drive consumer behaviour, restricting certain foods can make them seem more appealing to children as they are scarce. When these restricted foods are finally available, children may overeat—just as adults often buy items they don’t need during sales or Black Friday events.

Think long term rather than short term. You may say “no” to a certain food at all times, and your child then does not eat that food. This is a win in the short term. But if your child develops this sense of urgency in response to the scarcity of the food, they may overeat that food when they have more autonomy over food. In the long run, this is not a win.

TIP: Instead of strict limits, a balanced, flexible approach helps children develop better self-regulation skills. By “allowing” all foods within reason and focusing on overall dietary balance, parents can avoid the negative effects of restriction, fostering a more positive and healthy relationship with food.

Positive restriction

The word "allow" is in quotation marks above for a reason. Allowing doesn’t mean being permissive or encouraging unlimited access to less healthy options. We understand the dangers of a diet dominated by unhealthy foods.

Instead, parents can practise what’s called "positive control." This means limiting the availability of these foods without making them forbidden. For example, by not buying it too regularly or by serving these foods in small portions. This way, the foods aren’t seen as “scarce” or out of reach, reducing the allure of indulgence. I understand this approach might not work for every child or every family, but it’s about finding a healthy balance that works best for yours.

In conclusion…

Ultimately, the goal is to foster a healthy, lifelong relationship with food. By exposing children to a variety of foods and taking a balanced approach to restriction, we’re equipping them with the skills to navigate their own choices as they grow older. Parenting around food is about guidance, not control—it’s about modelling good habits, encouraging exploration, and creating an environment where all foods are part of a broader, balanced picture.

It’s all about creating a healthy balance, not a perfect diet. That is, why the varied the better.